How We Entertain Ourselves
by ohwhynot
Summary: Acting normal can be boring so Emerald and Mercury developed a tradition of playing games. Sometimes with other people. Sometimes with themselves. This is one of their games.


Emerald had been the first to enter their empty Beacon Academy dorm room, frustration marring what she liked to call her feminine features. She shut the door with slightly more force than usual before throwing herself onto her bed. She'd been focused on the scroll in her hand for the past half hour hoping for some sign of life. It was 6 in the afternoon and time and her patience were wearing thin. They should have responded by now and she was beginning to consider the possibility she had chosen the wrong people for the job.

Five minutes later the creaking door signaled the entrance of Mercury, the second player in this little game of theirs. That smug smile of his, while usually irritating, was almost rage inducing this time. Emerald knew he had something up his sleeve. Of course he did. That was the point of this game.

"Oh look at little Emerald stewing in her own juices. I take it you failed?"

"Oh shut up." She griped, "What are the chances you did anything better?"

"Uh uh uh."He shook her finger at her, "that's where you're wrong."

He walked up to the window and nonchalantly closing the blinds immersing the room in darkness. He proceeded to pick up the television remote before sitting in his own chair and propping his legs on the hardwood desk.

"Check this out." He told her as he pointed the remote at the television and tuned into the local news.  
 _  
'And now back to our live coverage of the bank robbery in progress at the First Bank of Vale. The two suspects have been holed up with half a dozen hostages for the past half an hour as both police and any available Hunters and Huntresses have surrounded the building ready to engage at the first sign of an opening. The suspects are known career criminals with a history of...'_

"You're kidding. That was you?"

If Emerald was trying to hide that she was impressed, she hid it poorly.

"Can you believe it! I strapped a small box to them and told them it was a bomb!" He laughed loudly.

The thief raised her eyebrow in curiosity. "What it's not real?"

"Of course not! I just strapped one of those tin canisters mints come in to the back of their necks and they fell for it! I mean sure I could use a real one easily but where's the fun in that?"

Emerald watched as Mercury continued to focus his morbid attentions toward the ongoing events flashing by on the television screen. He truly seemed to be enjoying the misfortunes he had forced on those two nameless criminals, laughing with an almost childish mirth at the escalation of events. She looked down at the scroll in her hand once again annoyed by its silence.

"That's it. I'm done waiting."

The young thief quickly dialed a number on her scroll while activating the voice modulator while she waited for the other party to pick up. Her companion meanwhile hadn't noticed or cared, still busy laughing at the results of his handiwork.

"Look at this!" He waved at her. "They're doing it! They're actually doing it!" 

Emerald would have paid attention but the sudden blaring of heavy metal from the scroll in her hand coming to life surprised her. Mercury raised an eyebrow at the strange choice of ringtone but she ignored him.

 _"WHAT?"_ the undoubtedly male voice yelled harshly on the other end.

She checked the status of her voice modulator before answering.

"Now now, is that any way to talk to your benefactor?" She scolded, "Now how are you with your assignment?"

From the other end the sound of metal scraping in the background followed by the shuffling of cloth.

" _Yeah yeah we had trouble getting in but it's done."_

"Took you long enough." The thief considered scolding them farther but decided against it. "Now you can finish up and call it a day."

" _I hope you're fucking happy now where's the stuff?"_

Emerald chuckled into the phone. She'd been waiting for this moment.

"Now when did I ever really say I had them?"

" _WHAT?!"_

"I said I took something. I never said what I took. Really what would I want with those stupid things you stole? Your partner will have to get a new scroll though."

" _Why you stupid little bi-"_

The call suddenly cut off. Emerald curiously looked down at her phone as it flashed the duration time of the call.

"Huh. I guess he hung up." She waved it off as she put the scroll away. She'd dispose of it later.

Mercury turned his head toward her, having half-listened to her conversation while watching the events he set off.

"See that's why I faked those bombs: Permanent motivation. No need to talk to idiots."

"Whatever. So when are those guys of yours getting arrested?" Emerald took a chair from her desk, joining her companion in watching the hostage situation in progress.

"Arrested?" He smirked. "You think they're going to let themselves get arrested? There's no fun in that."

Emerald shrugged. "I guess not."

"So what did you fool your criminals into doing?" Mercury asked.

"Oh you'll see. It's gonna blow you away."

 _Breaking News: A large explosion has rocked Vale's warehouse district as fire crews from all over have been dispatched to quell the flames before they're able to spread-_

 _"_ You didn't! _"_ Mercury's head whipped around toward his companion.

Emerald just crossed her arms and smiled triumphantly. She'd expected his look of surprise but seeing his rapt attention at the newscast started to make her wonder if something was off. He'd even dropped his relaxed posture, bringing his feet down and opting for a hunched over position in the chair instead.

"You've really done it now." He noted.

"What? Won?" She peeked at the television.

"Ha. I know when I'm beat. Let's just hope Roman wasn't in there."

The thief focused harder on the debris suddenly paling as she figured out what happened. The explosion she had expected. That it had blown apart most of the warehouse she hadn't but the remains told her everything she needed to know. Even through the flames she could see the warehouse number on one of the remaining walls. Those were three very familiar numbers of a very familiar warehouse.

"THOSE IDIOTS! How in the hell did they manage of all things to blow up-" She pinched the bridge of her nose tightly as she groaned, hoping to stave off an oncoming headache.

 _'Well that explains the size of the explosion'_ Emerald thought as she remembered the amount of dust left inside the warehouse. 

"Well who am I to complain," Mercury stood up and bowed with excessive ceremony toward his companion. "I know when I've been defeated. Let's just hope Cinder doesn't hear about this."

He pulled out a small envelope from his pocket and handed it to the winner of their competition.

"Or this."

Emerald quickly inspected the contents of the envelope before putting it in her pocket. She blushed lightly at the thought that Mercury had seen the pictures.

"You know, you really don't have the figure to pull that off." He commented. 

"Oh shut up. I was curious is all."

"Hey I"m not the one secretly stealing and modeling others' clothes in front of my mirror. Cinder's dress looks really baggy on you by the way. So does that blonde from team RWBY's outfit." He said this to her as made gestures in the empty air in front of his chest and laughing at her reaction. The thief growled at him for poking fun at her sensitive point.

 _'Sure they're not as big as Cinder's but who needs them that big anyway!'_

A sudden idea for revenge hit her.

"When I win next time I know exactly what I'll have you do as a punishment."

"Oh?" He said curiously.

"I'm going to have you model the outfits of the guys on the other teams around here. Fair's fair. Oh and I WILL take pictures." She smiled mischievously at the thought of putting him in the same situation she was just in.

"Fine. But If I win you'll do the same. I saw a bunny girl around here. You'll look good in bunny ears."

"As long as you wear the that monkey tail when I have you wear that monkey faunus' clothes."

Mercury was hesitant to agree but that spark behind in Emerald's eyes was enough to for him to know he'd have to go through with it. After all, that's what these punishment games were about and he was too proud to back out now.

"Deal. We'll meet tomorrow with ideas for the new game's rules."

"Just get ready to look for any costume shops monkey boy."


End file.
